What is it about a crying woman that makes it such a powerful weapon? Every man I've talked to about this has an almost fear of making the woman cry, because it is a game-ending play on her part, the equivalence of a neutron bomb. The structures are left standing, but the humanity is eliminated. Once she starts, you aren't allowed to continue arguing; doing so works against you.
Why? What is this power? Many times over the course of my life I've been resolute about something, practiced the argument in my head until it seems impregnable, and foolishly plunged in. And she cries... and I immediately find myself backing off, second-guessing myself, weaseling out and giving in. Even when it is against my own best interest.
Why do they have this power? Is it some evolutionary urge to protect the weaker sex? Is it merely a trick to make the woman seem less threatening, like playing possum? Is it an effort to disorient the man by getting him in the unfamiliar territory of emotions?
I only know that I hate hate hate when it happens, because it leaves me feeling helpless.
Which I am.
Because as soon as it starts, I know she's going to get her way. it's only a matter of time.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Saturday, January 16, 2010
The Right side of a natural disaster
Haiti was hit by a 7.0 earthquake that flattened up to 80% of the buildings in some areas, collapsed the Presidential Palace, made the seaport unusable, and paralyzed the country. The death toll is 100,000 people, and the estimates are that the final tally could be as high as half a million dead. The are in the slow, tedious, and grueling task of locating people still trapped in the rubble and extricating them, when there is no fuel for machinery, no communication, and no medical services once people are rescued.
The good news is that the internet has allowed donations to happen quicker. Organizations no longer have to wait for pledges and checks; donations are instantaneous. SHARE, the Secular Humanist Aid and Relief Efforts, raised $47,000 in less than 24 hours. Despite our own troubled economy, the US has pledged hundreds of millions in aid, and have begun shipping in food, water, and shelter, with the military to keep order and ensure distribution.
The bad news is that some are seeing this strictly as a way to gain leverage. Pat Robertson claimed that Haitians had made a pact with the devil to overthrow the French, and the earthquake happened 200 years later when god realized it. How does Pat know this? Was he there?
Rush Limbaugh fretted that "this (the earthquake) will play right into Obama's hands" by allowing him to show generosity and compassion to people in need. It seems that not even earthquakes are immune from party politics. Rather than reach out and urge their listeners to help their fellow man, both used the incident to divide and attack. Is it any wonder that both religion and Republicans are in decline?
The link is that both seemed to think there was a purpose to the earthquake, that god would use it to punish innocent people (violating the covenant that the sins of the father wouldn't be visited upon the son, by the way). If god wanted to help Obama, wasn't getting him elected enough? Did he really have to destroy an island that isn't even under our jurisdiction? Couldn't he have just drowned another city, like New Orleans?
Wouldn't it have been better all around if god had simply changed the minds of these two petty troglodytes?
Have you no sense of decency, sirs?
The good news is that the internet has allowed donations to happen quicker. Organizations no longer have to wait for pledges and checks; donations are instantaneous. SHARE, the Secular Humanist Aid and Relief Efforts, raised $47,000 in less than 24 hours. Despite our own troubled economy, the US has pledged hundreds of millions in aid, and have begun shipping in food, water, and shelter, with the military to keep order and ensure distribution.
The bad news is that some are seeing this strictly as a way to gain leverage. Pat Robertson claimed that Haitians had made a pact with the devil to overthrow the French, and the earthquake happened 200 years later when god realized it. How does Pat know this? Was he there?
Rush Limbaugh fretted that "this (the earthquake) will play right into Obama's hands" by allowing him to show generosity and compassion to people in need. It seems that not even earthquakes are immune from party politics. Rather than reach out and urge their listeners to help their fellow man, both used the incident to divide and attack. Is it any wonder that both religion and Republicans are in decline?
The link is that both seemed to think there was a purpose to the earthquake, that god would use it to punish innocent people (violating the covenant that the sins of the father wouldn't be visited upon the son, by the way). If god wanted to help Obama, wasn't getting him elected enough? Did he really have to destroy an island that isn't even under our jurisdiction? Couldn't he have just drowned another city, like New Orleans?
Wouldn't it have been better all around if god had simply changed the minds of these two petty troglodytes?
Have you no sense of decency, sirs?
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Lost Opportunity
I was making a quick run to the grocery store the other day, New Year's Eve. Things were busy, the parking lot packed. There were still piles of snow pushed up into barriers at the end of the aisles. Things were slow, but people were generally patient and understanding as others negotiated the conditions.
As I parked and approached the building, a young woman came out and got into an SUV that was parked along one of the snow piles, partially blocking the traffic flow. Someone was in the vehicle, waiting for her.
This healthy, young (and apparently feeling entitled) woman put her cart on the other side of the aisle she was in, then hopped into the SUV with her two bags.
The shopping cart was left with one wheel on the snow bank, mostly sticking out and blocking traffic. It was incredibly rude and inconsiderate. If, however, she had gone tangentially, to the side instead of forward, she could have returned the cart to the store sidewalk. It was the same distance, maybe closer.
Although I made a loud comment (that she may not have heard) I didn't do anything else. What I immediately realized I should have done was rush over (I was one aisle away), and moved the cart to in front of the SUV, blocking their way. But I didn't. I hesitated, the moment was lost, and the troglodyte drove away satisfied. The only lasting effect is my shame and anger that I didn't act more quickly and forefully.
As I parked and approached the building, a young woman came out and got into an SUV that was parked along one of the snow piles, partially blocking the traffic flow. Someone was in the vehicle, waiting for her.
This healthy, young (and apparently feeling entitled) woman put her cart on the other side of the aisle she was in, then hopped into the SUV with her two bags.
The shopping cart was left with one wheel on the snow bank, mostly sticking out and blocking traffic. It was incredibly rude and inconsiderate. If, however, she had gone tangentially, to the side instead of forward, she could have returned the cart to the store sidewalk. It was the same distance, maybe closer.
Although I made a loud comment (that she may not have heard) I didn't do anything else. What I immediately realized I should have done was rush over (I was one aisle away), and moved the cart to in front of the SUV, blocking their way. But I didn't. I hesitated, the moment was lost, and the troglodyte drove away satisfied. The only lasting effect is my shame and anger that I didn't act more quickly and forefully.
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