Petulant Peacocks

I’ve noticed that I get the same feeling watching Kitchen Nightmares as I do watching House. As I watch these two pissants strutting about, I don’t think ‘what high standards!’ I think ‘what jerks!’

Both people (even though one is fictional) yell, threaten, bully, insult, and act as though they are the chosen one. Both have loyal, rabid fans.

Those fans are mostly female for both shows. I keep trying to make something of that statistic, but I can’t decide what it means. Do men have such strong egos that they are resistant to watching someone else’s? Are women so programmed to desire authority that they think think this is just robust alpha-male behavior? Is watching these programs equivalent to staying in an abusive relationship?

I read a study that examined why women stay with violent, dangerous, motorcycle gang types. The women reported that they felt that they would be protected there. Is this just a sanitized version of that?

I also wonder if part of my distaste is simple jealousy. Who wouldn’t want want to act like a spoiled child, not be concerned with other people, not be careful about phrasing things well or pissing off somebody in authority, and still be hailed as a saviour? That part is just as galling to me: that the people are so thankful that they were treated so poorly. It isn’t tough love; there is no love involved. Merely a small ego that wishes it were big.

That’s what Dr Phil (another obnoxious blowhard) would say. People that yell at the slightest provocation, feel the need to belittle others, don’t allow others to have dissenting opinions, instantly insult, and sulk when they don’t get their way know that they are unimportant and are trying to make themselves look important.

I think they just look sad.

Fire Across the Middle East

There have been public uprisings across the Middle East lately, as crowds gather to protest their living conditions, political process, and call for their long-time leaders to step down.

It started in Egypt, then moved to Bahrain and Libya, with pundits and analysts extolling that just about any country over there was vulnerable.

I've heard some people claim that this spontaneous call for democracy is a justification for Bush jr's invasion of Iraq, since this is what his (eventual) stated goal was, and they were inspired by him.

This argument seems to have two main problems with it. The first country to feel the fire was Egypt. When the president offered partial concessions, the crowds insisted that it wasn't enough and they wanted the military to assume power.

When the protests started, the newscasters made the point that Egypt was our closest ally in the Middle East. Is this what we wanted for our friend? To kick him out of office with a military coup?

The second issue with attributing these protests to Bush is one of timing. If these are motivated by the American military might, why didn't they happen in 2003 when we ran the invasion? Why didn't they happen in 2004 when we enforced law by giving Saddam Hussein a trial rather than summarily executing him? Why didn't they happen in 2006 when he was finally executed? Why not when elections were held in Iraq, or when we withdrew troops, thinking that they would be available to support protestors in other countries?

Why now, two years after Bush has left office?

If anything, I think this proves just how misbegotten, wrong-headed and wasteful the invasion was. These protests are getting results, even to the point of removing leaders that had been in power for decades, and they have been largely peaceful. No invasion, outside-enacted regime change, or specious rationales required.

Left Right out

A new slate of congresspeople has just been sworn in. They campaigned on the idea that the government is too big, and has overreached, doing things that it doesn't have the legal authority to do. they claim to be firm followers of the Constitution, view it as sacrosanct, and read it out loud on the floor of Congress to remind everyone how sincere they are about this.

But they didn't.

It is curious that people who claim to want to follow the Original Intent of the drafters of the Constitution didn't actually read the original draft. They read the current version, amendments and repeals included. Even they realized that talk about how blacks only couldn't as 3/5ths of a person, that slavery was legal, and only white males were citizens might cost them votes.

Fair enough. And intelligent enough.

But doesn't that leave them in a fairly hypocritical position? How can they claim to want to follow the original meaning of the Constitution while admitting that it has been shaped and improved over time?

The flash point for this Originalism is the health care laws that got passed. Some claim that there is nothing that allows the government to do such a thing. Yet I think the phrases "provide for the common defense" and "promote the general welfare" are intentionally vague, and cover a lot of ground.

The Natural Drug

I've recently moved someplace renowned for its bad weather. Or rather, for its lack of boring, pleasantly mild, nondescript indistinguishable weather.

During the summer it got hot enough to make you avoid the outdoors. Not unusual.

But the winter...

The winter weather is boisterous, playful, changing, vivid, and challenging. It gets cold enough for your fingers to hurt simply walking from the car to the apartment; winds howl down the plains, sliding along the ice; the snow piles up so rapidly that they don't even try to clear the roads down to pavement, and you have to learn to include sliding as part of turning corners; any ventilation crack is enough to make ice build up inside your window where the temperatures meet.

It isn't easy.

It's challenging.

It's invigorating.

I love being outside in weather like this. It gets my heart beating to be buffeted by winds, where I have to turn my back to the wind to catch my breath. It lifts my spirits to see the sky clogged with fat, fluffy flakes that keep coming, hour after hour, and the wind curls them into graceful drifts. I like seeing the dark, crystalline sky full of sparkling stars. I welcome the prickling in my nose as the hairs freeze, and my cheeks getting stiff and hard to move.

I enjoy nature. Give me a good hike in the woods, an outcropping over a lake to look from, the view from a mountain, a meandering day in a National Park. Now add in the danger that if you lay down, you could die. I've been on ski mountains, cold wind pulling at my clothes. But this is even better; despite being within walking distance of houses and civilization, there is a closer connection to nature. You are more directly involved than a minute or two sliding down the ski run.

With all the ways humans have tried to tame, eliminate, curb, and derail weather, it is refreshing to be in a place where they build tunnels between buildings, and raises bridges to allow ice floes to pass underneath. It makes you feel more alive than an illicit drug.

Cuckoo

I recently upended my life, and made a big move across country, finding much satisfaction and contentment in my new home.

I didn't go alone. I went with a friend, and at first it was just the two of us, and we were well matched and balanced. Then came the straggler.

She moved her son in with us, a thirteen year old boy. I had an instant family that I hadn't been counting on. It is a surreal way to get a family; no nine-month pregnancy, no lengthy adoption process, no prolonged court case. He wasn't here; and then he was.

And not happy about it.

I wish he would understand that there is an adjustment for both of us. No matter how much he curses, insults, and disobeys, it is still my job to get him to school healthy, clean, and prepared.

Why should I? Why should I care enough to bother? It wasn't what I signed up for. i could just as easily sit back and let the mother be the involved one, do the hard work and be the enforcer. Why am I even involved?

The irony comes from the fact that I wasn't allowed to do this for my own kid, wasn't allowed to be a daily parent, explore the joys and pitfalls of childhood, and watch him grow. I had a few hours on weekends. Now I'm helping keep another father away from his kid.

And it isn't even for someone grateful. It would be different if the child were happy to be here, but those insults...

I wonder what he will leave behind when he finally leaves the nest. Beautiful, lustrous feathers to keep us warm? Or a hard white mound of bird crap?

Autumn

Another autumn, and I can feel the tug on my soul. Much is made of spring, with its affirmation of life, but I find the closing down of summer to be more poignant.

It is a season with rich, vibrant hallmarks. A delicate lilac scent may call spring to your mind- but how does that compare to that sharp breath of cold air when you step out of the house on that first morning with frost? Or how well that blends with the smoke from someone's fireplace, knowing that they are warm and comfortable, snug in their house? The cracking, crackling, snapping leaves at your feet make every step a song, if you can catch them in between their game of tag on the swirling wind. An unexpected, gossamer layer of snow nuzzling bushes and yards, or the delicate, condensed spiderwebs of frozen fog between blades of grass. Or that warm rush to your skin when you step back inside a warm house after a brisk, invigorating walk, only turning back when the cold starts to seep into your clothes.

Fall foods are hearty: deep orange squashes, thick hot chocolate, roasts, warm apple pies, chili that has been simmering in the crockpot all day, filling the house with delicious memories.

Spring pulls you to wander away from home. Autumn encourages you to snuggle beneath the blankets with someone. Is it any surprise that the holiday that celebrates family and food is now?

Compare the excitement of seeing the first shoot of green in your yard, knowing that soon you'll be weeding and mowing, with the wondrous joy of those first flakes of snow, knowing that it is too early to last, and this first taste will soon melt away.

If Spring is about Hope, or Life, then Autumn is about Time. The warm weather arrives slowly, in fits and starts. The cold arrives suddenly, often before you are ready. It is a reminder that the universe is moving, always moving. Soon it will be winter, and metaphorical death. In Spring you can live in the moment; in Autumn you must plan how you will survive. It warns of the culling of the herd.

If Spring encourages you to start over, then Autumn warns that your time is short. Do not wait for the Spring; now is the time to get moving. Because if you don’t, the universe will move on without you.

The Weather Ghost

I recently got out of a troubled relationship. I moved far away, half way across the country, to regroup, reset, and reboot. The large distance, I figured, would be a good way to make a new start.

There is only one small problem. We had a pet name for this other person. It was a nick-name, a lightly-teasing comment that was an in-joke to us. Unusual, but not unique. Nothing odd about that; plenty of long-term relationships have these touchstones that are only significant to the people themselves.

I didn't realize until I got here that a town has that same name that I used for this person. I've had minimal contact with them since I moved, and that's good. But every time I watch the weather report on the news, there is that town, reminding me.

The town apparently doesn't have anything else going on in it; it isn't in the news for any reason, nothing transpires there. It just happens to be in the middle of a blank spot on the map, so they fill it in with this town. Its entire purpose seems to be to prevent me from simply watching the weather.

For the most part I've managed to move on, start over. Unless I watch the weather. Then the ghosts of the past come howling down from the arctic, and the day feels a little colder and darker.